Self-Care: Step 1-Getting to Know YOU!
Self-care can be defined as the act of taking care of YOU. It means taking care of yourself and your well-being. Taking responsibility for your life and happiness. But what exactly do you want or need? In my work as a therapist, I often asked clients this question. What is it that you really want? Many times they get confused and frustrated with the question. I often received responses like “What do you mean?” or “No one has ever asked me that before.”
I will pose the question to YOU? What do you really want? See we must take the time to get to know ourselves so that we can truly understand our wants and needs. Often times we are so busy that we never take the time to figure it out.
The first step in developing a self-care routine is to dedicate some time to explore what you like, want, and need. We cannot make the best of our precious “me” time if we don’t have a good idea of what it is that will help us feel happy and fulfilled.
For example, I often have clients that want to add some sort of fitness routine into their lives. But you know what one of the biggest deterrents to successfully MAINTAINING a fitness routine is…..hating it! Most people view exercise as a means to an end. They don’t enjoy it so they just buckle down and get through it. They listen to their favorite music or podcast. They bribe themselves with rewards. We work so hard to try to convince ourselves to like it. But we end up quitting the first time we have a good enough excuse.
I spent many years in the cycle I described above. I was always eager to try the next trendy class in hopes that I would fall in love with working out. I never did. I passed out in a hot yoga class and vomited in a water fountain after a particularly rigorous aerobics class. But you know what, I don’t regret trying any of them because they helped me find out what I did NOT enjoy. From there I was able to turn my fitness journey into a fun exploration. Research I told myself! If I didn’t like a class- I never had to go back. Through this process I learned that it was not only the type of class but the place or the instructor. I kept a journal of all the things I enjoyed. And I ended up finding that I enjoyed Yoga very much. But not the fast paced yoga where you turned your body into a pretzel. I enjoyed slow yoga where you took your time and paired breathe to movements. I began WANTING to go to yoga. I was sad if class got cancelled and I found myself making time for it. I put it on my calendar and had dinner planned so I could sneak out of the house. And just like that, a routine was formed. I found myself slowly feeling better and better. Not because I was “working out” but because I was making time for myself to do something that I actually enjoyed doing and I didn’t feel ONE BIT GUILTY!
What goals do you have? What self-care routines do you want to explore? What are your wants and needs? These are the questions to start asking yourself and exploring. The best thing about your self-care routine is that it is designed by and for YOU!
